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Writer's pictureDr. Karin Anderson Abrell

We Have a Core Need to be Seen and Heard



“Look, Mom!” “Daddy, you’re not listening to me!" Little kids are obvious about it. They have no problem letting us know they want to be seen and heard. As we get older, we tend to be more subtle in our efforts to elicit attention and connection. But we still want it. And we still need it. We’re social beings; we don’t do well in isolation. Psych research shows that those of us with strong social support systems are healthier emotionally—AND physically! And a huge part of social support is truly seeing each other for who we are. And truly listening. Which is hard to come by in this day and age. We’re here, there, and everywhere. But rarely are we in the present moment—which is likely contributing to the uptick in depression and anxiety. Mindfulness research shows that our ability to “be present” is related to our emotional well-being i.e. we’re happier when we focus in on what’s happening in THIS moment. We need to be seen. We need to be heard. And fewer and fewer of us see or hear each other—because that would require being present. Maybe we’ve forgotten how. I really hope not.

Psychotherapist and author William Pullen of @d_runningtherapy shares powerful strategies to help us intentionally see and hear each other in my podcast interview with him. These techniques can immediately improve EVERY relationship in your life!


Photo credit:  Ekaterina Kuznetsova from Unsplash

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